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7:41 pm
It's like your a drug..It's like your a demon..I can't face down. It's like I'm stuck. It's like I'm running from you all the time. And I know I let you have all powers it's like. The only company I seek is misery all around. It's like your a leech. Sucking the life from me. It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me. And I know I let you have all the power. And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time. It's like I'm lost. It's like I'm giving up slowly. It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me. Leave me alone. And I know these voices in my head are mine alone. And I know I'll never change my ways. If I don't give you up nowIt's like I'm not me.I'm feeling kind of different. I feel like sitting on one corner and just ignore everything that happen. But it happened so fast. Happiness is everything in one person's life. I sacrificed my time. And is he appreciates it?or just want me for getting in contact with someone that Im close with?
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anyway,yesterday i dreamt about my elder sister died. I felt so sad and crushed after I woke up. I woke up in tears, and I couldn't stop it from dripping. It was horrible. Even you guys can't imagine. I don't want anything to happen to my loved ones. I truly love them. Even I can't use words to describe how much I love each and everyone. Especially someone that I'm quite close with now, like for example my sisters. Now I'm close with my elder sister. I can feel the bonding between us is improving. And that's good. That's why Im afraid of losing her.
Don't worry Fizah, I love you too....I hate myself for losing u guys that i really treasure alot.
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I hope rashid knows what he is doing now. Im worrying for him that something bad happen to him. He is my friend and I don't like that MOK hurting him. Even nadia is worried and confused.
I dont know rashid.
Rashid, if u r reading this, i wanna u to know that and realise what r u doing now is what u want. if u don't like it, just let it out. if u feel like crying, just let it all out. don't keep it inside ur heart. it will hurt u more.ok?
